Game,Set and Match

Contents
Page 3
Characters and Costume

Page 4
Authors Notes

Page 5
Staging Act 1

Page 5
Act 1 – Scene 1 – Auditorium

Page 6
Act 1 – Scene 2 – Waiting Room

Page 7
Act 1 – Scene 3 – The Vestry

Page 9
Act 1 – Scene 4 – Waiting Room

Page 10
Act 1 – Scene 5 – The Vestry

Page 12
Act 1 – Scene 6 – Harvey Nichols

Page 15
Act 1 – Scene 7 – The Vestry

Page 18
Act 1 – Scene 8 – Waiting Room

Page 19
Act 1 – Scene 9 – The Vestry

Page 21
Act 1 – Scene 10- Kathryn’s Lounge

Page 29
Act 2 – Scene 1 – The Vestry

Page 31
Act 2 – Scene 2 – The Bedroom

Page 33
Act 2 – Scene 3 – The Bedroom Later That Day

Page 40
Act 2 – Scene 4 – The Vestry

Page 40
Act 2 – Scene 5 – The Bedroom Four Years Later

Page 42
Act 2 – Scene 6 – The Vestry – 3 Months Later

Page 43
Act 2 – Scene 7 – The Church – The Following Sunday















































Mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb


Characters:

Hazel:
29yr old, white corporate lawyer from York. Just died of AIDS – now elsewhere.


Kathryn:
53yr old mother of Hazel – lives Alwoodley - Widowed


Robin:
Late 20’s – early 30’s yr old, gay white male ex air steward – high camp – also dead.


Father Michael:
Late 30’s – early 40’s, Episcopalian Priest, Kathryn’s sounding board- Gentle & caring but with an edge.


Jase:
24yr old, (Preferably African American) successful tennis player – still full of life – not accepted he’s dead – non camp


Deborah:
Indeterminate age, well preserved, slightly dippy – Estee Lauder cosmetic consultant in Harvey Nichols – thinks she’s glam! Hazel’s confidant.
Costume:

Hazel:
Power dresser – black business trouser suit, white blouse, black high heals. Good hair, make-up applied by Deborah. Carries leather briefcase at all times, mobile phone in pocket.
Scene 10 – Simple Black Hat and Skirt, Dress Pearls.


Kathryn:
Black skirt suit, white large collar blouse and pearls, black court shoes, fur coat.
Scene 10 - Black veiled hat for Reggie’s Funeral, leave behind casket.


Robin:
Gone to seed disco bunny – dress sense still in the eighties white jacket (rolled sleeves), white ruff front shirt, black trousers tight around middle and flared, white shoes complete with medallion.
Act 2. Scene 1- Casually dressed in white trousers and black shirt, wearing garish waistcoat of many colours.
Act 2. Scene 2- Very loud silk boxer shorts.
Act 2. Scene 3 – still in boxers


Father Michael:
Black dog collar shirt, black trousers well pressed and black brogues.
Act 2. Scene 1- Black cassock and black cloak over play one outfit.
Act 2. Scene 2- Dog collar and boxer shorts (conservative)
Act 2. Scene 3 – Dressing Gown worn over pyjamas (conservative)
Act 2. Scene 4 - As per Act 1
Act 2. Scene 7 – Cassock over clothes wearing preaching scarf


Jase:
Full set of tennis whites (preferably with black piping or stripe), white trainers, carrying tennis racquet with balls stuffed in pockets.


Deborah:
Shop uniform, short black skirt, white blouse, black tabard – make up by Spencer Paints and hair by electric shock.

Authors note:
Aberdeen Cares Drama Company would recommend that for specific audiences the language used could be adapted. Likewise place names, locations and business names can be changed. The running theme of a tennis match echo’s throughout the plays, the audience being drawn from one character to the next, the movement between sets and the interaction of head to head discussions.
Act 1: Game, set .
Dealing with families and death, from the perspective of the HIV/AIDS sufferer and those left behind.

Act2: Match .
In this we see Michael’s relationship with Robin and how the spectre of HIV impacts on their lives, leaving Michael to ponder what to do next.
The Locations:
Alwoodley:
West End suburban area, with large domestic properties of high value, populated by doctors, lawyers, business men/women etc. Overlooking green belt countryside.
Harvey Nichols:
Upmarket premier department store, covering two adjoining buildings both four stories high, in a prime city centre location.
BUPA Hospital:
A private hospital offering range of services in maternity.
St Jude’s Church:
Named after the Patron Saint of Lost Causes (must not be renamed for performances).
Perth Hydro:
An exclusive Country Club Hotel, where a valet parks your car and porters carry your luggage.












Staging: 1st Act
Set 1:
The Estee Lauder counter at Harvey Nichols, one high chrome bar stool set in front of counter, the usual mix of display products arranged on top, Estee Lauder banner behind.
DOWNSTAGE RIGHT
Set 2:
Open raised stage area set like a waiting room at an airport, 3 rows of 3 seats in a square. Low coffee table piled with magazines. A sign reading All Departures Delayed 40 minutes hanging above the set
CENTRE STAGE
Set 3:
Very small box set, the austere interior of the Saint Jude’s vestry, a Queen Anne style chair sits at 90° Captains chair a table/desk alongside set with tea pot, cups and saucers, biscuits and a telephone. A large bible lies open on the table. A print of Saint Jude hanging on the wall alongside a Crucifix.
DOWNSTAGE LEFT
Set 4: Replaces Waiting Room Set/ could be set behind centre traverse tabs.
The interior of the Anderson house, lounge setting, comfy patterned sofa in the centre, behind we see a funeral casket sitting on a table with an old fashioned standard lamp at one end, bouquet of flowers on top
CENTRE STAGE
Staging: 2nd Act
Set 1:
Very small box set, the austere interior of the Saint Jude’s vestry, a Queen Anne style chair sits at 90° Captains chair a table/desk alongside set with teapot, cups and saucers, biscuits and a telephone. A large bible lies open on the table. A print of Saint Jude hangs on the wall alongside a Crucifix.
DOWNSTAGE LEFT
Set 2:
The interior of Father Michael’s bedroom. A very wrought iron bedstead dressed with a traditional quilt. A bedside table on each side, the stage left table with a lamp, small bible, a detective novel and alarm clock. The stage right table has a matching lamp, copy of Spartacus, a gay erotica novel, Gaytimes, a bottle of lubricant, pack of condoms and handcuffs hanging off the drawer knob. A dressing gown is placed over the end of the bed.
DOWNSTAGE RIGHT
Set 3:
The pulpit of St Jude’s church, a simple lectern with crucifix motif fall draped down the front. A gobo projecting large cross onto the cyc.
CENTRE STAGE – Upstage of sets 1 and 2









ACT 1. Game, Set…
Opening: Just One Person (from Snoopy the Musical)
Open on black, stage set in place – Robin and Jas already in situ.
Singers open downstage right, tight group
LX1. Lights up on singers as intro music starts
As singers get to ‘making it 3’ Ring tone from mobile sounds
FX1. Mobile phone rings
As singers get to ‘Believe in me’ Hazel answers phone, singers continue with number

Scene 1 - AUDITORIUM
Hazel:
Yes hello, hello! Sorry can’t hear you; I’m at a show just now, hang on, Bloody signal!!!
Hazel who has been sitting in the middle of the audience gets up and makes her way along the row…

Hazel:
Bugger! My briefcase, could you pass it to me please, must dash, something important to do… (She continues to talk into the mobile as she leaves the auditorium…still trying to get a signal) Ad lib dialogue.
Singers complete the song and exit on LX2.
LX2. Lights cross fade to black on singers and come up on waiting room.


Scene 2 – WAITING ROOM
Jase and Robin already in situ ignoring each other, Jase playing keepie-up with his tennis racquet, while Robin flicks through a copy of AXM with Jase’s photo on the front, turning the magazine through 360°. They look fleetingly at one another and carry on as they were. Robin turns magazine back to the cover picture and looks directly at Jase, recognition dawns and he’s straight back to the centre spread.
Hazel enters stage left still on the phone, still trying to get a signal.
Hazel:
…must be the bloody concrete they build with, God why didn’t I move to London! (She hits the phone with the palm of her hand and sticks it back in her pocket.)
Hazel:
Where the hell is this? I’ve a dinner date with Charles at nine; not paying attention obviously, must be the bar. You! Yes You, the one with the mag get me a dry Martini, and be quick!
Robin looks up, ignores her and continues reading.
Hazel:
Is this the bar?
Jase:
No, a waiting room of sorts I think.
Robin:
It’s dispatches; you know the after life, whatever that is.
Hazel moves forward and looks around.
Hazel:
Never heard of it, The Dispatches, what sort of dive is this, not quite Antony’s is it!
Robin:
No dispatches as in your Next account is closed, Ikea has ceased trading, AIDS finally caught up with us, you know DEAD!
Hazel sits down, briefcase held firmly in her lap.

Hazel:
You’re Jase Masters aren’t you?
Jase:
Ah ha M’am.
Don’t listen to him, I’m waiting for my flight to Roland Garros, I’m seeded 9th this year, dead cert for Wimbledon.

Robin:
Dead being the operative word my dear boy! You see I’m dead, you’re dead and the starched knicker wearing het is dead, we are all dead! We’re waiting here for the next bit, depending on what you believe.
Jase:
Don’t be silly man, I’ve got three more Grand Slams to play this year AND a photo shoot for Boyz next week, I ain’t dead, no sir!
Hazel:
No that’s just plain ridiculous, what the hell am I going to tell Charles? It takes weeks to get a booking for the Ant’s.
Robin:
Look girlies if you don’t believe me just come and sit beside your Auntie Roo and listen.
LX3. Cross fade to black from centre to Vestry.
Scene 3 – THE VESTRY
Kathryn:
It’s so soon after Reginald’s death, only four years, a woman just has to find a way to cope, volunteering with the PDSA, the Guild, and now this on top of everything else. Imagine what the Ladies of the Guild will think! Hazel did not tell me you know. She kept it to herself, always secretive that girl, always difficult, BUT THIS!
Father Michael:
Now, Now Mrs Anderson, just slow down, lets try and talk about this calmly, we will just take this one step at the time, tell me exactly when this happened, I know Hazel did not keep good health recently.
Kathryn:
It was during a show of all things, the theatre, the Hutcheon’s of Delgate House were there, saw and heard it all, what must they think of me? Her Mother! The embarrassment, the inconvenience of it all. I was at home listening to the Archers when they called at the house….
Father Michael:
Who called?
Kathryn:
The police of course, and only a constable, not even anyone of importance. Reggie was a banker you know, well thought of, friend of the Chief Constable, you would have thought I would rate higher than a mere constable, what were they thinking, I shall have to write and complain… a pleasant young man, but a constable!
Father Michael clasps hands in silent prayer
Kathryn:
Do you want to say prayers now?

Father Michael:
Ehmm, perhaps we can wait until a little later. You said she died at the theatre?
Kathryn:
Oh yes, terrible shock, like a storyline from the Archers…..that poor Jennifer….
Father Michael:
Err. Hazel? What was her illness?

Kathryn:
When they told me I was taken aback, I just could not believe my own ears. What if the Guardian finds out or even worse the Metro, then everyone will know. I know I can trust you not to say, it is very delicate matter you see.
Father Michael:
But of course Mrs Anderson, after all, the important thing here is your daughter’s dignity.
Kathryn:
You see it was…AIDS (mouthed under her breath)
Father Michael: (leaning forward in his seat)
I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch what you said.
Kathryn:
AIDS (hysterically)
Father Michael:
Ahh. (matter of factually). But still, very sudden to be AIDS wasn’t it?
Kathryn:
AIDS, that gay thing! MY daughter had to be different. She even has a fiancée! (said with venom) She collapsed in the foyer with a heart attack whilst on her mobile phone to him, never off the thing, attached to her ear, never phoned me mind you!
Father Michael:
It’s possible that her heart attack could have been brought on by the combination of drugs she was taking. I have heard of such things very rarely happening to people with HIV, whilst doing my chaplaincy work at the hospital.
Kathryn:
You work with such people?
Father Michael:
AIDS crosses many paths, and distinguishes not Mrs Anderson, neither should we!
Kathryn:
But why me! Her! Us! (exasperated)
Father Michael looks upwards to Heaven for Divine inspiration
Father Michael:
GOD! Moves in mysterious ways. AIDS is amongst us all, men, women, children, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers even priests.
LX4. take lights to half on Vestry, up on centre.

Scene 4 – WAITING ROOM
Discussion continues unheard in the vestry.
Jas is standing up practicing his swing, tennis balls stuffed in his pockets.
Robin:
Robin by the way, how do you do?
Hazel:
Not all that well! Apparently I’m dead, or didn’t you just witness my loving mother!
Robin:
Take after your mother don’t you Hazel.
Hazel:
Just tell me what is going on.
Robin:
I’m not a hundred percent sure myself, but we seem to be in limbo, a state of flux, waiting for something, us, someone to accept our death by AIDS, your mother for example.
Jase removes ball from pocket and hits it into the wing, takes second from pocket.
Jase:
I ain’t dead! Look, throw me a ball to return and I will prove it.
Throws ball to Robin, who throws it back, Jase hits it stage left.
Jase:
Could a dead guy do that?
Robin:
Will you stop playing with your balls!! Just sit that pretty bubble butt down next to me.
Jase moves to seats and sits down, feet up on another chair, tennis racquet across his legs, looking bored, leaning against Robin who begins to play with Jase’s hair. As Jase sits Hazel moves centre left straining to hear the conversation between her mother and Father Michael.
.
Robin moves beside Hazel and puts his hand on her shoulder, she shrugs him off.

Scene 5 – THE VESTRY
LX5. Lights up on vestry to ½ on Centre
Father Michael and Kathryn sip tea, Father Michael dipping Rich Tea biscuit.
Father Michael:
So you see Kathryn, may I call you Kathryn?
Kathryn:
Oh yes Michael, quite all right, but only when we’re alone. (as she places a hand on his knee coquettishly)
Father Michael:
Ah em, yes, just so, just so. I understand what you are going through.
Kathryn:
To lose ones husband and to be left with a house to look after on your own is not easy, how does one engage good staff these days, not since Elsie have I had someone who can polish my sideboard so effectively, these cleaning people are not up to scratch. Will I be able to have anyone in my employ when they discover about the AIDS thing? Mind you, she has not lived at home for years…
Father Michael:
I see.

Kathryn:
…but her room is still there, how does one clean it properly?
Father Michael:
The same as you would any other room; feather duster, Pledge and cloth!
Kathryn:
The germs, what about the germs? How long does one have to wait until they go?
Father Michael:
Do you know anything about AIDS?
Kathryn:
It’s that gay peoples’ fault, an abomination against our Lord, our high standing and not a thing to be talked about in polite society.
Father Michael:
I’m sure it isn’t, but it should be!! When did Hazel first become ill?

Kathryn:
About six years ago, just before Reggie’s decline. She was on some holiday in the Balearics… not quite the villa in Provence, and I did warn her about the toilet seats! They are not clean those foreigners you know! Came back alright, but within six months she looked awful, I told her to sort herself out, looked like a waif, sallow complexion, clothes hanging from her, I would not be seen out with her!

Father Michael:
Did she see someone, her doctor?
Kathryn:
Oh yes, but you know doctors, take that pill you’ll be fine in a couple of days. They are so unlike the clergy, no time for people, always so busy, five minutes then out!
Reggie was fine but with no passion unless it was bound up in leather and looked like a ledger mind you...
Father Michael:
(audible gulp) I see. Hazel? Did you know or guess it was something more serious?
Kathryn:
Why should I? As I said never told me anything. She had moved away from home to "find her own space". (Father Michael nods sagely) She may have told Reggie, but we did not discuss such matters. Not a topic one wants to speak about over the Boeuf Bourguignon. He had to die before I knew what was wrong with him. They insist on telling everything now you see, but Cancer is so much more socially acceptable don’t you think? Do you think I could say that’s what she died of?
Father Michael:
Well, you could I suppose, but do you not think that would be doing Hazel’s memory an injustice.


Kathryn:
I mean what is one to say at the Bridge Club? A wholly inconsiderate illness to die from!
Father Michael:
You can say as little or as much as you like at the bridge club, as long as you are honest with yourself and accept that Hazel died from AIDS.


Kathryn:
One is always honest with people, I remember telling Hazel how dreadful she looked and at the very least she should do something about her make up.

Scene 6 – Harvey Nichols
LX6. bring lights down to half on Vestry and up ½ on centre, gradual fade up on lights for Estee Lauder to full
Deborah onto Estee Lauder set. Hazel moves stage right and takes a seat at the counter.

Deborah:
You’re looking peaky today, nice out or cold? Have you lost weight, haven’t seen you in such a long time, I was just saying to my Dazza I hadn’t seen you, well what will it be, full facial or just a dusting over? I’ve got this new range in, should lift that glum look. You been ill, pet?
Hazel:
Well yes, you know…. I’d rather not say…
Deborah:
…So many colds about just now and its only just gone summer, you been away or still busy at work?….What is it you do again? Can never remember, brain like fudge!
Hazel:
No not been away for some time now, and yes I have been ill….
(Lights up slightly on the vestry characters freeze at HN’s)
Kathryn:
She was always away on holiday, and then nothing, hardly left her house.
Deborah:
Oh, nothing serious I hope, I was just watching this programme the other night, what people die of, well….
Hazel:
It is serious, far too serious in fact but I think that’s just for me to know….
Kathryn:
If she had just said something to me…anything…I would have been there for her.
Deborah:
Still with what’s his name are you?
Hazel:
Em, yes, Charles, my fiancée, he’s in London just now, I go down most weekends…
Deborah:
London, never been. Heard it’s fab, have you seen the Queen? I did once, she was in a car, looks old doesn’t she, needs better make up!
Hazel:
He’s in oil, with BP, that’s how we met. Worked in Nigeria for years.
Deborah:
Oh my Dazza’s in oil, or at least looks that way, works for Reg Vardy, a mechanic! You want to try this new range, it’ll make your man go gaga for you.
Hazel:
My illness you see it’s gone on...developed...changed...and well I need cheering up, a new look nothing too drastic, just a something to make me look healthy.
Deborah:
Blusher, that’s the thing Harriet, blusher!
Hazel:
It’s Hazel.
Deborah:
Blusher, this new one’s called Menorca Sunrise.
Hazel:
Perhaps not, what about something a little more subtle.
Deborah:
This Menorca Sunrise, all the rage, (applies to her own face, using loads of it) see looks fab don’t it!
Hazel:
Is that it, is it all I need to do, apply blusher, new lipstick. I really need to talk to Charles, (looks at Deborah’s face, now made up very brightly) Good God that’s bright!
Deborah:
Yeah, will really help highlight those cheekbones. So you’re ill eh, what you say it was?
Hazel:
I didn’t, you wouldn’t want to know, just ill, that’s all lots of colds, sickness, losing weight and stuff. Mother thought it was one of those fad diets.






Deborah:
Must be pretty bad, you usually look so great, very elegant I tell my Dazza you are, my friend Janice was always getting colds an stuff, we all thought it was, well you know…. Cancer (looks around and says it quietly) but well it was…
…HIV, silly cow was jacking up, we didn’t know but we felt bad didn’t we, I mean jacking up, not like she needed to. I mean well she smoked enough stuff, always out of her face. But HIV never thought she would get it, she’s got a baby you know, little tyke so she is. Called her Chardonnay after the Footballers Wives dame. Kids in care now she can’t look after her. Cute name eh?
Hazel:
(looks distant-talking more to herself-directed to audience)
HIV! Silly little virus. I got it on holiday, Menorca, just a one night stand, last night of the hols in fact, the bastard didn’t put on the condom, and I suppose I never checked, Sangria, well drunk on it, by then it was too late. Just one fuck! Christ what a mess!
Before I met Charles, he knows of course, been fantastic, didn’t think he’d stay you know… be there for me… but he is and is really supportive. You know Deborah; I’ve never done anything like that before. Just the one time!
Deborah:
You must know her then, she comes in here, I do her make up for free, and well this place can afford it, can’t it? She’s still on the drugs, but she’s my mate, known her since school, don’t matter she’s got ill does it? I mean could have been me if I hadn’t got a good job. She’s in later to get her make up done, think she’ll like Menorca Sunrise, just her colour.
Hazel:
Can’t say I do know her, its not a club, most of us keep ourselves to ourselves, you know we live with a secret, its really no-ones business but mine and Charlie’s. Think I’ll give that blusher a miss, anything less…well…bright!
Deborah:
You live for ages now, read about in a mag, Bella or something like that, new drugs an stuff they can give you. Menocra? Went there with Dazza, was gonna go to Ibiza but couldn’t get a flight so ended up there instead.

Hazel:
Where?
Deborah:
Menorca! Me an’ Dazza went!
Hazel:
Oh, yes, sorry wasn’t listening…….
Deborah:
You ok? Want a coffee, water or something?
Hazel:
No I’m fine. I just want to get out of here, go home, need time to get my head together, think I’ll phone Charles.
Deborah puts blusher in a bag and hands it to Hazel
Deborah:
Look just take this an’ try it at home, no charge, I’ll say the box was broken when it was opened, always happening that is!
Hazel:
But I’ll never use it….

Deborah:
Never know the colour might grow on you.


LX7. lights slow fade to black on E&M set. Lights up on centre stage ¾, Vestry full.


Scene 7 - The VESTRY

Father Michael:
Let’s set a day for the service, what about Wednesday next?
Kathryn:
That’s my Bridge night, and it’s at mine this week, we’d be down on our four.
Father Michael:
Hmmm…Thursday, am then?
Kathryn:
Well Thursday’s the Guild, the ladies would miss me, who would be there to organise them?
Michael:
Friday, now you can’t have a lot to do on a Friday?
Kathryn:
Not a good day I’m afraid, I see David at A La’ Mode on a Friday, got to keep my natural colouring you know!
Father Michael:
Saturday?
Kathryn:
Saturday would be just fine; I could manage that, nothing on this Saturday.
Father Michael is beside himself, literally biting his tongue




Father Michael:
This is your daughter’s funeral we’re organising not your social diary for the next month Mrs Anderson. I know its difficult to think about these things, but you must for Hazel’s sake. Who cares what anyone else thinks, it’s not about you it’s about Hazel, think of her for once!
Kathryn:
I do, I did, we were just never that close, it was always Daddy this and Daddy that. I admit, I am not the most approachable person. But my own daughter? Surely I could have helped her if I’d known and been given the chance? (begins to cry)

Father Michael:
She was probably scared, didn’t want to alarm you, as you say Hazel was a private person. Tissue?
Father Michael offers a tissue, Kathryn takes one and dabs her eyes.
Father Michael:
Some people, even our own family members don’t want to make a fuss; they just want to work through things without hurting anyone. You mentioned Hazel had a fiancée, have you contacted him? He may be able to help you understand why Hazel didn’t tell you.
Kathryn:
Do you think he might, after all he must love her, they didn’t meet until a couple of years ago so he must have known about the AIDS thing. You know I do, sorry, did love her, we just never got on. We were so proud of her achievements. Her graduation from university, passing the Bar…
Father Michael:
…did you tell her?
Kathryn:
Of course, well not in so many words, but we supported her through all her training, we were always there if she needed us, she didn’t need to ask…we were there. (now audibly sobbing)
Kathryn:
I…I…I could have helped her, my daughter. What did I do wrong?
Father Michael:
Nothing that couldn’t have been worked out, given time. Yourself and Reginald gave Hazel a great start in life, but just like the sea is sometimes rough it is also sometimes smooth. She may at some point have told you but her time was now, it was her time to move on.
Kathryn:
It’s too late to say anything, to say I cared, to say I loved her, to say…sorry.
Father Michael leans across and takes Kathryn’s hand in his
Father Michael:
It’s never too late.
Robin/Father Michael:
…You OK.
Hazel/Kathryn:
Yes, I think so.
Robin/Michael:
Relationships are funny old things, the people we love often irritate us, make us happy, get under our feet, support us when we are down, and whatever their mood or our own they are a rock and guiding light. It’s time to say goodbye and remember her.
Robin sits with Hazel, his arm around her shoulder, Jas comes across and sits on her opposite side.
Kathryn:
Yes, time to move on, time to remember.
Father Michael:
And the day for the service?
Kathryn:
Thursday, the ladies will have to manage without me.
Father Michael:
Did she have a favourite song?

Scene 8 – waiting room
LX8. The lights go down to black on the vestry and come up to full on centre stage
FX2. Overhead announcement: Robin Fraser to Departure gate.
Robin:
I’m sorry Hazel; it is my time to go. It was good to meet you, I’m off to pick up my wings, toasting fork, whip or whatever it is you get when you die and pass over. Hope the local disco has Kylie and Abba playing. (exits stage left behind vestry)
Hazel:
Enjoy! Thanks Robin. (They embrace)
Jase:
Where’s he goin, (shouts after Robin) if you’re away for a soda bring me one back…don’t even know if he heard. Have you heard the Paris flight call yet, been here ages.
Hazel:
I doubt we are flying on anywhere, unless BA has a standing charter with the afterlife! Haven’t you been listening, we are all dead.
Jase:
I’ve been practicing my backhand and serve, well as much as you can in an airport lounge. And I ain’t dead; look at me fit as a flea. You’re just saying that cos you don’t want me to beat Henman.

Hazel:
Well you’ll find out soon enough I suppose. Why burst your bubble. Must be true what they say about sportsmen, brains in their muscles and not in their heads.
Jase:
Has he come back with my soda yet, must be a good way off, should have asked for Diet/Caffeine Free Pepsi, their my sponsors so I should keep them happy.
Hazel:
You’re dead, just accept the fact or you’ll be here in this lounge for all eternity, I’m sure of it.
Jase:
Look lady, your nice, but I think you’ve a screw loose, I ain’t dead, I’ve gotta lot of living left to do and games to play!
FX3. Overhead announcement: Hazel Anderson to Departure gate.
Hazel leaves stage right on hearing announcement.
Jase: (he stands centre stage facing upstage)
Hey lady, I ain’t dead!

LX 9. Lights to black
Scene 9 – vestry
Father Michael:
Mrs Anderson, I am so glad that we have been able to spend this time together, I think Hazel would be very happy with the service we have put together. Although due to work she did not attend the church very often, we did however spend a great deal of time in this room.
Kathryn:
I did not realise that Hazel knew you, apart form on the occasional Sunday I managed to persuade her to come along, especially after Reggie’s death. She always said that the church stifled her, I can’t imagine why? We only really sat and talked to each other once, the day of Reggie’s funeral, not the best of times, and not the best of chats but we did at least that one time talk.
LX13. Lights fade to black .










Scene 10 – Kathryn’s Lounge

Hazel:
In Blackout: Tea or coffee mum?
Kathryn:
Tea, and just a little milk, make sure you warm the pot first.
Hazel:
Yes mum.
Kathryn:
And in a cup and saucer dear, not a mug like you usually do, can’t let your father see it’s in a mug…
Hazel:
He won’t see mum.


Kathryn:
… but I always use a cup and saucer, so did he… unless it was his awful gardening mug.
Hazel:
Lights up as HAZEL comes on stage right carrying tray with an Leeds FC supporters mug and cup and saucer
I gave him that mug
Kathryn:
I know, but it was awful, one of the first things I threw out!
Hazel:
You threw it out, but it was dads, part of him and you threw it out!
Hazel sits at the opposite end of the sofa
Kathryn:
Yes dear, amongst other things, twelve bags to the charity shop in Inverurie, well you just don’t like to see someone else wearing his clothes. The Rover is in the paper for sale, it’s just too big for me and well I never enjoyed driving it, think I’ll buy one of those little BMW’s, your dad never liked them, German built you see, always drove British. Very loyal you’re father, but no sense of value for money.
Hazel:
Oh mum, he was a banker, of course he knew the value of things, he just didn’t want to be frivolous.

Kathryn:
You didn’t know him, I was his wife, I lived with him, mind you there are some things I probably didn’t know and quite frankly don’t want to know, and that’s the way it should stay.
Hazel:
Are you sure you should be getting rid of dad’s things so soon? You might want to keep something, and if you give it away now it would be too late to get it back. I mean it’s only been a week since he died and you never know…
Kathryn:
…no my minds made up. Just rid the house of his paraphernalia, I don’t want reminders lying about the place. I lived with him for over 32 years, what’s the point of keeping it all. You are so like your father, you just want to hoard everything, it’s just mess and clutter.
Hazel:
I’m glad I am like him, he had spirit and go, always helping other people out, loved his garden, fishing and golf…
Kathryn:
…figures…
Hazel:
What?
Kathryn:
Figures, all I ever saw was him looking at other people’s figures!
Hazel:
What do you mean?
Kathryn:
…NO, FIGURES in his books, ledgers, never gave me a second look when he got the managers position in the bank, raised my standing in the community of course, back to what it was before we married, even if it did take twenty years, mother and father said he was lazy, and if it was not for me pushing him on, I would still be married to a lowly bank clerk!
Hazel:
Did you ever love him?
Kathryn:
Oh yes, at first, then we just…well…settled into a pattern, your father spending time at the bank, and me with my interests. I made sure that we moved in the right circles. I even managed to persuade my father to get him into the Mason’s, for what good it did. He preferred to be on his own at the weekends as you say fishing or playing that dreadful game..GOLF!! Out in all weathers, often came home wet and muddy. And then you came along…unplanned you see…I think we were away at a colleague of your father’s wedding. In Perthshire, Scotland; the Hydro if I remember correctly, two months later as you young people say we were pregnant.
Hazel:
You remember when I was conceived, that’s so sweet.
Kathryn:
Sweet it was not, being sick in the morning, the cramps, the constant running to the toilet, the additional weight. The worst thing was wearing those dreadful maternity frocks. You know Harvey Nichols were not in the city then, the rest of the stores did not have a large range of maternity wear and your father said we couldn’t afford it anyway; I had to go into Mothercare and C & A’s. All candy stripes and fluffy collars. Then the birth, after nine and a half months, YOU like your father were always late. The most embarrassing 16 hours of my life, legs akimbo and four student doctors staring at my most private regions! You see your father was still just a bank clerk, no BUPA Hospital for me…oh no, the MATERNITY at the Leeds General! I did not breast feed either. So unseemly, no, a bottle of formula kept you quiet. I made your father get up during the night; I blame him for it all. I just wasn’t meant to have children, why ruin my figure and my social life.
Hazel:
Mum! What a horrible thing to say, you mean you never wanted me?
Kathryn:
In all honesty? No…not at first, but when we got you into nursery and then into THE Fulneck School when your father was making more money it became easier. I just didn’t know what to do with a child…you cannot conduct an adult conversation with one for a start. Then there’s the constant whining for this and that. Your father was very good, when he was at home, he always bathed you and got you up in the morning, I was just too busy to cope! Elsie helped as well, as best she could, by that time she was beginning to slow down and just could not keep up with you in the garden, then when she broke her hip moving the sideboard in the dining room I had to let her go.
Did the new girl dust that thing this morning? (Looks at the coffin behind her)
Hazel:
What thing?
Kathryn:
Again looks pointedly at the coffin
Your father’s casket, I’m sure the flowers have not been moved. When is the car due?
Hazel:
Grasping for sanity
Oh, in about fifteen minutes, and yes I think Silvera did give it a clean, although she didn’t look too comfortable polishing the handles!
Mum, what are you going to do with yourself, now that dads gone, I mean, I’m worried about you. You’ll be alone in this big house and…
Kathryn:
…Don’t you worry about me, the Ladies of the Guild and my Bridge companions will keep me busy. I’ll just go on the way I always have, and I have more free time now that he’s no longer underfoot. Those visits to the hospital take so much time, queuing for the car park and the lifts in the hospital. Trying to make conversation with your father at the best of times was difficult, he hardly responded at all, and feeling obliged that you have to stay on for the full visiting hour. No I have plenty to do, don’t worry about me. Another week and I’ll have things just as I want them and get back into my old routine.

Hazel:
I managed to have some real quality time with dad in those last weeks, I wouldn’t have missed out on that for anything. But it’s you I’m worried about now, you don’t talk about things, you never let me get close. You never ask what I’m doing at work or how things are going in my life…you shut yourself out. I think your hurting but are trying to put on a brave face, I know your strong but you haven’t cried yet… you must be feeling some sort of loss, dad was a huge part of your life. Mum just talk to me…please!
Kathryn:
I can’t, not in front of your father.
Hazel:
Oh mum, it’s just you and me now, I think dad would like us to talk, get to really know each other.
Kathryn:
Dear, it’s not that I don’t miss your dad, he was always there but we fell out of love a long time ago, he would rather spend time with you than me…we drifted apart…I don’t think we were ever meant to be together, and it’s not snobbery, it’s fact…we came from different backgrounds, mine monied and his, well middle class.
Hazel:
But that shouldn’t matter; you must have loved him once.
Kathryn:
(Flustered)
Oh yes, I did. We met at a dance, at the Starlight Ballroom beside the beach. He was handsome in those days, if a little funny looking in his Velvet suit and frilled shirt, I was wearing my first formal dress, and he fell for me straight away. I was only seventeen, he was much older at twenty-two!
We were married shortly after…you see…you’re not our first child. We had to get married.
I fell pregnant and you grandparents insisted we marry before things became too noticeable. I lost the child in labour, a boy. I did not get to see him, he was just taken away. I blamed your father from the start, he tried to help…to understand how I felt but he kept putting his foot in it…he lost the fun side of himself and shut himself away from me…what could I do?
Hazel:
Why haven’t you spoken about this before, it explains your distance to dad but what about me…I am your daughter…part of you.
Kathryn:
We had to keep up appearances, and it’s not something I want to remember. When I got pregnant with you seven years later it was a shock to us both. We were not ready for a child…I was unprepared for the emotional turmoil of being a mother again…I asked your father for an abortion but he wouldn’t hear of it…so you came and you were a girl! I was unable to look after you, could not face the thought of bringing up a child I did not want. Your father took on the role of both parents.
Hazel:
You haven’t ever loved me, have you?


Kathryn:
I just couldn’t talk to you, you were a child, and I’ve never been good around children!

Hazel:
Mum, that’s no excuse, you have always shunned me and I can see why, but I’m your daughter, have you even once been proud of me?

Kathryn:
Of course I have, we both were. When you became older and passed your exams and ‘A’ Levels I was extremely proud. When you gained a first in law and graduated from University it was one of the proudest days of my life.

Hazel:
You never showed it though, no hug of congratulations, no well done, a card was all I got and that was from dad. I thought you didn’t care.
Kathryn:
But I didn’t know how to show it; I have always tried to be there for you, I thought you would think it false if I suddenly came over all mummsie.
Kathryn shows signs of distress.
Can we talk about something else Dear; I don’t feel comfortable speaking about this. Where is that car, it must be nearly time?
Hazel:
Don’t think its time we did talk about it mum? Why have you held on to this for so long, didn’t you and dad ever talk about what happened, what you wanted for me?

Kathryn:
We always wanted the best for you, and your father had your life all mapped out, it meant I did not have to get involved. I thought I was doing the best thing by staying out of your way, letting you and your father decide what was best. It left me to deal with what had happened in the past. You have done well for yourself Hazel, even when you were growing up it was obvious you didn’t need me. Although sometimes, I did question your rather odd choice of boyfriends.
Hazel:
But never with me mum, you never spoke about who I was seeing, going out with. Where I was or had been. You left me to get on with things on my own. Dad couldn’t help with everything. I was terrified when my periods started…

Kathryn:
…Your father, please have some decorum!

Hazel:
That’s the point mum; you would not talk about important stuff with me. I needed you then, not dad! I need you now!

FX 4. Offstage a car horn sounds, and then a doorbell rings.
Kathryn:
Thank goodness, good the car is here! Shall we get ready dear?
Hazel:
Saved by the bell!
Hazel gets up and takes cups etc back towards the kitchen, Kathryn stands, lower veil on hat, straightens her skirt, stands erect and takes a deep breath. Moves behind sofa to casket, she pats it lightly and exits.
LX 14. Lights fade to black, one spot remains on casket lighting bouquet.
LX 15. Blackout.



Interval




Act 2. match

Scene 1 – vestry
Michael:
Looks completely washed out and emotionally drained. Directs monologue to audience but talks to St Jude behind him.
Thank the Lord that’s over, that bloody woman’s completely mad, who the Hell does she think she is…(he takes the bottle and glass, fills it with the whisky and holds the glass tightly, and stares into it)…Where does she get off, thank goodness all my flock are not as tight arsed as her! (he takes a large swig from the glass and looks at the cross and St Jude behind him) Sorry Lord, but some people would try the patience of a Saint, even you Jude and I’m far from being a Saint! How on earth did Reggie manage to keep from either burying Kathryn, Cruella Anderson under the patio or at the very least divorce her? Poor Hazel, no wonder she looked drawn, I really am glad she held it together to do the reading. My hip flask saved the day yet again, just a few drops in the water before kick off and all’s well. I am sure you can over look my wee transgression.
Good crowd though, he was obviously better thought of than I remember. A real pillar of the community. A lot of folk standing at the back. Should I be so hard on Kathryn? She has just lost her husband and grief is a funny thing, think I’ll wait a couple of days and go round and see her, just to make sure she’s OK. (he takes another large swig, puts the glass down and starts to remove his cassock) Oh well another day, another good man put to rest, may God go with you Reginald Anderson.
Robin calls from offstage
Robin:
Coo, eee, love are you decent or is the Bishop up to no good under your dress?
Robin enters from downstage left
Michael:
Quiet Robin someone might be out there, the members of the vestry are due in shortly for their monthly meeting!
Robin:
I already checked poppit; the place is as quiet as a church mouse, just you, me and him…
Michael:
Him?
Robin:
Your boss love, the guy upstairs! Anyway I knew you had that funeral to do, so I waited until I knew everyone would be gone. I thought you might want a hug, I know how they take it out of you.

Michael:
Right! Yes a hug would be great. (Robin kisses him on the cheek and gives him a hug) What are you doing here anyway Robin, I thought you were flying off to somewhere exotic? Glasgow wasn’t it?
Robin:
Flight got bumped, Air traffic control thingy, and it was Aberdeen actually. So I thought I would come and bump you instead! You look bloody knackered by the way, was it a bad one, planting or furnace?
Michael:
A plant… a burial, do you have to use those terms, I’m sure one day I am going to start a funeral service by saying, Dearly beloved we are gathered here to plant…
Robin:
…Funerals are so dull, maybe you should, I’m sure no one would notice. I want mine to be loud, brash, glitzy and full to bursting of hunky young men just there for me…Abba playing Dancing Queen for my final entrance. And to be carried in by toned, bronzed and hung guys wearing nothing but loincloths, must remember and put it in my will.
Michael:
You have a will?
Robin:
But of course I could be trampled to death in the rush at the Ikea New Year sale, and you get it all, lets face it I couldn’t leave my mother and father my collection of Vulcan, Hustler and Hung and Black mags, let alone my video collection…it ain’t quite Disney dear! Although there is that one called A…Lad…In!
Michael:
Yes I remember it…(far away look in his eyes) not quite Disney. And I am knackered, at least mentally. Robin I love you but do you have to come here? It makes things so difficult for me. What if some one sees you, what would I say?
Robin:
I come here because I love you, and who would know, I’m just the poof of the parish coming in for some counselling, you’re supposed to be turning me straight you know, old Mrs Thornwick said it would be good for me, and I said you were!

Michael:
You said what?
(Robin starts to giggle)





Robin:
Just joshing my dear Michael, God you’re just too easy my poppit. (still giggling) So what do you want to do, I know you priests have nothing to do from one Sunday to the next unless someone buggers up your week by dying or even worse… hets getting married!

Michael:
I just want to get home and get out of these clothes…


Robin:
…Great idea, I’ll help…

Michael:
…What are you like, your incorrigible…
Robin:
I aim to please! Come on let’s get back to yours and get that collar off…heal boy!
LX 17. cross fade from vestry to bedroom, lights to full on bedroom set



Scene 2 – The bedroom
Robin lies back in bed smoking a cigarette flicking through gay times, father Michael lays alongside reading his Wexford novel, still wearing his dog collar
Robin:
You seen this bit in the Times, it says here that forty per cent of gay couples have sex no more than twice a week, we’re doing quite well getting it together four times a week, five if you include that snog behind the organ last Sunday.
Michael:
Do you believe everything they print in that comic?
Robin:
It’s not a comic; it’s essential reading for the gay man about town!
Michael:
But your not a gay man just about town, you’re a gay man all over the place!
Robin:
Pray tell, Priest of the Poof's, just what do you mean by that?
Michael:
Nothing, it’s just that…you…well lets just say you’ve been around a bit.
Robin:
Not as long as you poppit!
Michael:
In age possibly my love rocket, but in experience I don’t come close.
Robin:
Great turn of phrase…you think I’m a tart don’t you…no wonder you don’t introduce me to people.

Michael:
I don’t introduce you to people because every time I do you grab my ass. It’s embarrassing, I’m sure the parishioners think I’ve got a nervous twitch!

Robin:
Speaking of the great unwashed when do you get time off for a holiday this year (puts magazine down and picks up Spartacus) I was thinking about booking time off to go abroad, I get the flights really cheap being a Trolley dolly and all, somewhere warm, with nudist beaches, check out the local talent and have some fun. You up for some sea, sand and sex?
Michael:
I’ve got a couple of weeks in late May, but I’ve got to watch where I go, I do not want to bump into the great unwashed as you put it, when I’m wearing nothing but a thong! And as for going nude, I need at least a years notice to get into shape!
Robin:
Ah but I know places that that doesn’t matter, you know gay holidays, everything laid on for the discerning traveller. Like Sitges, or Gran Canaria, what about the Keys in Florida. See lots of places, lots of choice. And by the way your bodies just right, I need some flesh to hold onto, it cushions my hips when…
Michael:
…Enough Robin! I get the picture!
Robin:
I’ve never been to Sitges, it’s not far from Barcelona, so we can do crudity and culture, what do you say, should we look at booking?
Michael:
I like the idea of Barcelona, the galleries, the history, and the cathedral. The Sitges bit I’m not so sure about.
Robin:
It says here that Barcelona has a thriving gay scene as well and Sitges is one of the gay Mecca’s of Europe, you could tell the Bishop your going on a sabbatical, he might even pay for the accommodation.

Michael:
I don’t think he would some how, and anyway what would I tell him. No I’ll just say I need a break, it's been a difficult year and I haven’t been away for some time, he doesn’t need to know where I’m going anyway.

Robin:
You rebel!
Michael:
Just think, two whole weeks away together, alone, we’ll be able to be ourselves…
Robin:
…Well us and a gobble of poofs, and I’ll be just the same old Queen I always have been, you on the other hand may blossom into a fully fledged princess!

Michael:
I am too old to be a princess dear, maybe a maiden aunt, and just what the hell is a gobble of poofs?


Robin:
A gobble of poof’s dear is a group, a flock, a gang; lets just say a lot of poofs, my dear maiden aunt.
Robin picks up the dressing gown, and starts to exit
Michael:
Where are you off to?
Robin:
To shower, I’m all sticky! And then off to the travel agents to book our tickets, do you want me to book you in as Father Michael?
Michael:
God No! And where’s my kiss?
Robin enters and kneels on the bed
Robin:
Ah there you go poppit (he kisses him and exits)
LX 18. Both bedside lights are on, set at ¾ light
Scene 3 – The bedroom later that day
Robin enters and turns down the duvet and generally tidies up
Robin:
What are you doing in there, for someone that doesn’t get dirty at work you are taking forever in that loo, even longer than me!
Michael:
Off stage:
Won’t be long, just making myself presentable.
Robin:
What have you got in there, Historic Scotland doing restoration work? Hurry up!

Michael:
You’re such a charmer!
FX 5. A toilet flushes
Father Michael enters wearing the dressing gown Robin used earlier
Why all the rush, you on a promise? Saints preserve me you’ve tidied up, what’s wrong?

Robin:
Nothing at all my bundle of loveliness, I have something for you.
Michael:
You always have!

Robin:
No that will come later, look (he produces pair of tickets from beside the bed, hidden under the Gay Times) I booked the holiday, two glorious fun filled weeks in…do you really want to know?
Michael:
Yes just tell me or I may be forced to sit on your face!
Robin:
No not that, anything but that! …We’re of to Sitges my gay holiday virgin. You can read all about the place, it’s in this (throws copy of Spatacus over to Michael), looks fantastic doesn’t it.
Michael:
I thought we were going to discuss this, I mean to decide where was the…

Robin:
…Safest place for a gay priest to go…

Michael:
Well not that…but I just thought we could plan it together, you always take the lead in what we do.
Robin:
You do wear the dog collar my dear boy, not me. And the holiday is a present from me to you, so I decide.
Michael:
We should be sharing the decision and cost, I feel bad about not paying my way, and it is our first real holiday away together.





Robin:
If it makes you feel better, you can pay for a fabulous gold wedding band for me, there is this great jewellers in Barcelona on the Ramblas, it will only cost a couple of thousand or so Pesetas.
Michael:
Can you not be serious for one minute, I insist on paying my way, you pay the flights and I’ll pay the accommodation, ok.
Robin:
If you insist, but you’ll be further out of pocket than me, lets split it halfway, you pay for the flights, I’ll pay for the hotel and the rest you can pay me in kind, now get that dressing gown off, I want to see what the preservation society were doing in that bathroom and I want a cuddle!
Father Michael takes of the dressing gown to reveal a pair of pyjamas, Robin strips down to his red silk boxers.
Robin:
Quite frankly my dear they are hideous! Who dressed you…your mother!

Michael:
It’s cold.
Robin:
I’ll soon heat you up!
Robin throws a pillow at Michael, they get into bed and cuddle.
Are you any warmer yet? Want me to take off that top for you?
Michael:
Yeah I’m warming up nicely, I’ll do it… you’ll just start to tickle.
Robin:
Were you in hospital or something, because that’s the only time I’d wear passion killers like that!
Michael:
No, just a present from my mum and dad.

Robin:
I knew it, and so much more presentable for hanging on the manse washing line.
Michael:
Thanks for the holiday, it was sweet, but you know I’d like to be more involved in making decisions together.
Robin:
I know, and I also know it is difficult because of the job, lets face it your already married.

Michael:
What?

Robin:
To the church! That’s why I want to…to get you away from there…you don’t take any time off and I would like us to spend time together, its important to me…
Michael:
I agree, it is important for us to spend time together, but in this job it is not that easy, I have to think of the parish and my job prospects, I’m a career priest, I want to get on and I love my work. It would be great to be out and not have to worry about what people say, but I have to be realistic and you do too, I love you Robin isn’t that enough


Robin:
Of course it is, but time catches up with us, and I don’t want to miss out on stuff, things with you?
Michael:
You’re getting maudlin aren’t you, where’s the quick quip?

Robin:
Sometimes I can be serious, and sometimes the jolly, happy go lucky camp queen is difficult to live up to. I need this holiday; it may be some time before I go away somewhere special with someone I love for quite a while. That’s why I want to do this for both of us.
Michael:
This is important for you isn’t it, us going away together?
Robin:
You’re not just a pretty face are you? No wonder all those old women of the parish fall at your feet! And yes it is important, haven’t you not ever thought it was funny when I gave up the Trans-Atlantic flights? Why I took the job as Head Flight Attendant on the UK shuttles? Lets face it Aberdeen, Glasgow and London are hardly sunshine spots or hotbeds of hunky guys like San Francisco, New York or Orlando.
Michael:
I just assumed it was to do with promotions, you know Head Trolley Dolly on internal flights before you got to play with the bigger boys.

Robin:
It’s playing with bigger boys that kind of well forced this on me.
Michael:
Are you in trouble?
Robin:
When I met you on that New York flight six years ago and then saw you in the same hotel I was staying in, all alone in the foyer, well I think my Fairy Queen, waved her magic wand and fate brought us together.
Michael:
As I remember it, you were drunk on whisky, and you practically sat on my lap…
Robin:
…I was not drunk, it was my gaydar, it just homed in on you, and I fell for you there and then…
Michael:
Your gaydar was wobbly on it’s feet then, you did fall for me, you tripped over the coffee table, knocked me and I ended up with hot latte in my lap!
Robin:
Not the only hot thing in your lap that day!


Michael:
As I remember it you were hot, nearly all night and all of the next day, when you asked for my number I thought you wouldn’t call, it was just one of those…flings.
Robin:
You were never going to be just a fling, I knew that from that the start. But before you it was all flings, and all over the place, and don’t ask for names or even the number of guys.

Michael:
I knew that, you’ve never hidden it from me, it’s what I liked about you…you were upfront.
Robin:
That’s just it, I was all front, but I still had a secret that even I couldn’t tell you. Before I do tell you it’s important for you to know I love you more than anyone I’ve ever known. Shit I’m sorry Michael, so so sorry!
Robin starts to break down
Michael:
What are you sorry for? Now your scaring me Robin, please just tell me what is wrong, whatever it is, we will work through it together.
Robin:
I have always made sure that we practised safe sex, and used condoms; there is a reason for that… (he starts sobbing) …sorry, sorry.
Michael:
Starts to sound worried
…Go on…Robin; just tell me, I’m here for you.
Robin:
I’m HIV positive and have been for seven years, I’ve been lucky, I have a great doctor and I have always kept reasonably well. Until recently that is, that bunch of colds and sickness last winter really took it out of me, I don’t think it’s going to get any better. I took the UK based job because I would be closer in case anything went wrong and the yanks don’t like HIV positive people in their country, I would have had to declare my status during my medicals, this way it was easier. Sorry.
Michael:
Shocked and angry
Jesus Christ, why didn’t you tell me before this!
Robin:
Sorry!
Michael:
Robin, why now?
Robin:
Is there ever a good time?
Michael:
No, but you can trust me, we’ve been together for what, five and half, nearly six years!
Robin:
Defensive
I kept you safe. I didn’t put you at risk did I; at least I don’t think I did! God if I have…fuck what have I done…sorry!
Michael:
Good God Robin I might have HIV too…you should have told me!

Robin:
I’m sorry Michael but I couldn’t have told you, I was scared you would want me out of your life and anyway you won’t have it, apart from a fumble at school you said I was your first time, I’ve kept you safe…I have!
Michael:
Fuck Robin, will you stop saying sorry, I get it…your sorry. But how do you know I don’t have it…I might, how do you know for sure? I don’t know enough about it, just what I read in the papers or see on the TV.
Robin:
Tries to inject some humour
I don’t, but I’m as sure as you’re a priest and I’m a raging queen that you don’t, I’d bet my gold sequine shirt on it, it is my favourite!
Michael:
Robin, I believe you and I love you but how do I find out for sure? I have to know!
Robin:
There are tests, blood tests, you get the results about a week or so later, they confirm the test then. They do the test at the clinic in St James’s, my doctors there, and he’s great, you know your usual health board sadomasochist.
Michael:
Stop making light of this. I’m worried for us, you in particular. How ill are you?

Robin:
I’m fine just now, but you never know so I want to get on and do some stuff together.
Michael:
Like the holiday you mean?
Robin:
Yes.
Michael:
Starts to get confused/hysterical
How quickly can you get one of these tests done, can I do it before we go on holiday? God they’ll know who I am, what is my doctor going to say, what the Hell will the Bishop say, it’s over, its all over.

Robin:
Regains composure
Slow down Michael, it is not over, not for you, not for us, unless you want it to be?
Michael:
Don’t be daft, I don’t want it to be over, I love you but I need a bit of time, just to get used to things, to tell the Bishop, my vestry members, Christ my parents.

Robin:
You don’t need to tell anyone anything, not yet, wait until you get the test done. They take your details but it’s anonymous. Wait until the result comes through. The staff at the clinic will guide you through it. You can just walk in and ask for a test, you’ll probably get done quite quickly if you put on your working clothes, I’m sure a priest will get a fast service.
Michael:
I can’t wear my collar, someone would recognise me.
Robin:
Joking!
Michael:
How can you joke about it, how do you keep sane?
Robin:
I was born laughing, and will die laughing; in between I have always tried to spread a little fun. Anyway it’s you who keeps me sane, my saviour!
Michael:
It’s going to be alright isn’t it Robin?
Robin:
Yes my princess charming!
Michael:
I think I need a hug…
Robin:
…me too.
They sit on the edge of the bed and embrace
LX 19. Lights slow fade out on bedroom.
Scene 4 – the vestry
Michael enters vestry and sits down at the table, sits with his head in his hands and sobs gently.
LX 20. Lights up to half on vestry.
There is nothing set on the table apart from the Bible.
Michael:
Dear Lord what a few months, of all the people I thought I knew best, Robin was able to serve that fast ball at me straight from the base line. I have been through hell and back, we both have, of course you know all this, but you’re going to have to listen anyway, so there!
I went back for my second test result today and it’s clear, three months it’s taken. I am sure my parishioners and the Bishop know that something is wrong, I’ve never had so many visits to the manse, they are never away from the door. Robin kept his word… he had kept me safe…if only he didn’t have it! Is it really a new pestilence sent by you to rid the world of us…people with a different lifestyle…I can’t accept that you would be that cruel!
Raises voice, as he gets more and more frustrated
It was not my choice Lord; I am who I am. I love, I cry, I bleed, I do the best I can, you created me, you cannot be wrong can you? What of my own teachings? How can I stand in front of those people week after week; marrying them, christening their children, giving them dignity in there final journey when their time comes and not be honest with them? God should I leave this work? Be more honest in myself! I cannot go on living a lie, but neither do I want to give up the priesthood. I love my work, God if you’re listening help me, just this once help ME!
Michael gets up and exits vestry
LX 21. Lights slow fade to black as Michael exits.


Scene 5 – The bedroom four years later
LX 22. Lights up to half on bedroom. Use bedside lamps
Robin:
Michael, please bring me some water, my throat is dry…it hurts.
Robin goes into a fit of coughing

Michael:
Yeah, just coming, you ok sweetheart?
Michael enters carrying glass of water


Robin:
Just… (coughs) …dandy, must cut out the fags. Takes sip of water

Michael:
You don’t smoke!
Robin:
Not that kind of fag dear!
Michael:
Mmmm, fag…..Americanism isn’t it!
Robin:
Sure is.
Takes another sip of water and puts glass aside
Michael:
Remember that holiday to Sitges Robin, I found the photos, do you want to look through them again?
Robin:
Not just now Michael, I’m too tired, do you mind if I just go to sleep? These painkillers just knock me out…or are you just putting more strychnine in my drinks.
Michael:
Not poison, just night nurse from your best nurse.
Robin:
Michael, I think it’s close now, have you dug out that ABBA album, remember it’s Dancing Queen, and you have to book the hunks to carry me in…God I’m tired of all this…Oh remember and go to my flat and look out the gold sequin shirt… (he yawns) …
Michael:
…Robin, do you want me to arrange things with the hospital tomorrow…do you want to go in?

Robin:
Only if you can get George Cloony or Noah Wylie to be my doctors, knowing your ability to cock things up it’ll be Doctor Who with his sonic screwdriver…Michael…I’d like to sleep now, can you put out the lights?
Michael:
Yeah Robin, your pillows ok for you?
Robin:
Just fine.
Michael:
OK, night you old tart!
Robin:
Hmmmm…

He turns over a falls asleep; Michael kisses his forehead, switches of the lamps and exits.
LX 23. to black, light up to ¾ on vestry

Scene 6 – Vestry – 3 months after
Michael is seated in the Vestry, he looks up to St Jude, picks up the phone and dials. There is a pause while the phone is answered.
Michael:
Hello…yes…ah Mary, please could I speak to Bishop Souter, it’s Father Michael Laister, St Jude’s, Alwoodley…I’m very well thank you…no that’s ok, I’ll hold please.
Michael looks to audience for support
Michael:
I hope I’m doing the right thing, and not as Robin would have said making a pantomime out of a drama!
Michael:
Ah…Good afternoon Bishop, sorry to disturb you on a Saturday, but I’ve had something on my mind and I would like your opinion before I proceed.
…Oh yes, I am well…in body if not in soul…it’s just I feel I have to come to a decision about the congregation…oh no, nothing like that, the church isn’t getting rid of me just yet…I think it is time I told them about me, my relationship with Robin…yes it’s been three months since he died…no as always joking to the end…yes I did play Dancing Queen for him.
I’m fine, starting to get on with things…yes that’s right, just over six years…I know I should have told you earlier than I did, but the right time never came up…when I did tell you it was a huge relief…no my parents were fine, think they had always known…but never said…no…so I think the time is right…that would be a great support…but you are busy, I don’t want to put you out…I was thinking next Sunday, it will give me time to prepare, to get my thoughts down on paper, to make sure its right…
You are right it is a risk, but it is one I’m willing to take…if the congregation decide they would prefer another priest at Morningfield I will not stand in their way they must have the chance to think about what I’m telling them, about who I am, what I am. It is their church, their community…it is my community too, but I would not be able to carry out my work if I thought they could not trust me…ten years in September…it is a long time, and in my heart I hope they accept me for who I am as you did…I can have a copy typed up for you by Monday night…no your input would be much appreciated…I need this to go well for you, the church and them…and me to…yes but the congregation have a part in that… I’ll leave it for the vestry members to decide along with the congregation. Theirs must be the final decision.
Thank you once again for your time and understanding…no thank you…yes Monday…goodbye. (he hangs up, and audibly breathes out)
LX 24. Lights slow fade down on vestry and single spot on pulpit



Scene 7 – the Church – the following Sunday
Father Michael:
It is as a child and through these actions of others we learn to start to play the game.
This game we play in life is like a tennis match. We are the balls in that game being hit by the racquets of circumstance as we bounce back and forth from one situation to the next, being watched by the spectators who surround us. We should always do our best to play a good game.
The game is to present the face that is expected of us by others to the world. We show ourselves as the carer, a person who listens to others, understands and helps, calm in all situations no matter how difficult although we may need to sort out our own problems. The strong who stick to their convictions no matter what others say to them while inside they are full of doubt. The bitter person who never has a kind word to say but is presenting this face to hide their hurt and fear of rejection by those they care for deeply. The scatterbrain who takes nothing in that is said to them but all the time listens carefully. The person who sails through life fully independent of others but who is desperate for the support and approval of those they love. The person who, learns about a situation that affects their lives which they do not like, buries their head in the sand and refuses to accept it. They insist that nothing is wrong, by taking the stance it will never happen to me. All these faces are forced on us by our appearance, gender or family circumstance and in later life by the careers we choose.

Jase:
Life fifteen love.
Father Michael:
So we grow into adulthood and the pressures increase to play the game and we fight hard to maintain the outward face we present to the world. We become set in the ways we treat others and how we live our lives and find it very difficult to move out of this pattern.
Jase:
Fifteen all.
Father Michael:
It is when love steps in that our lives become even more complicated. When we truly love someone and that love is ignored or rejected by the other party it does break your heart. When you love someone so much that it hurts, and circumstances dictate that the other person cannot return that love, and you dare not tell them of your feelings because you fear your closeness will be lost it breaks your heart. It is a physical pain, no an agony. The realisation of it can destroy you as completely as an explosion blows you apart.
Jase:
Life thirty fifteen.
Father Michael:
There comes a point however in life when we must make the match between our inner self and the face we present to others.
Jase:
Thirty all.
Father Michael:
If you have ever held someone in your arms as they are wracked with the agony of tears they are shedding for a love they fear they have lost, and you love them, you suffer the most excruciating pain in your life as you pour all the love in your soul into them fearing it is not doing any good to them. Yes love hurts; it tears you apart at times like these. Yet those are the times when if you truly love another that you dig even deeper and pour even more love into them. It hurts, it hurts so badly.
Jase:
Life forty thirty.

Father Michael:
It was this circumstance during my game of life that made me realise that the time had come for me to make the match between the person I am and the person I present to the world. It was also thankfully the time I made the match with the person who I feel is my soul mate and the love of my life. To do this means I have to openly speak of these things. I have already told the person I love of my feelings for them and now is the time to tell you of the person I am. I truly loved Robin and loved him unconditionally regardless of the circumstances surrounding our love. Thankfully he returned that love in full measure and I held him in my arms as he died of AIDS. Yet he is still in my life and heart. In that acceptance of him and myself for who we truly were I found peace. Should I at some time in the future find another man to share my life I hope you, my congregation, will accept him also.
Jase:
Deuce.
Father Michael:
In this world so affected by hate and anger we have never more needed the power of love. The love for all regardless of their race, creed, sexuality or state of health. Give them the greatest gift you can; your love and compassion. You may be surprised if you look into the eyes of a person you have given your love to and see the light of love for you they have in them.
May you all share in the peace I have found by accepting me and others for who we really are.
Game, Set and Match to us.


LX 25. blackout.

Back again

Ok so it's been a while, i've been busy! Ok i've not been busy but had writers block (that ole excuse!!). Anyway I bumped into a really special friend who lambasted me for not setting keys to screen (pen to paper in my day), so here I am.

Its that same friend that also told me not to delete evey single word, line, paragraph and chapter I right, but to let it flow and just get it out there. You see dear bloggers i've been writing this book over a number of years...please don't fall asleep just yet!...and as we who sit in front of our typewriters, pc and laptops know its all too easy to delete, scruntch up and file those prose, ditty's and complete works in the bin be it vitual or actually printed. I did and managed to delete around 300 pages of a book i've been working on.

Now I didn't cry, have a fit or indeed throw the computer, my tool of distruction out of the window...on no...I just edited, it is amazing what we think of our own writing, the soul searching, is this any good, will any read it, will I ever get round to submitting this to a publisher? I know I ain't the next JK or even SK, but there is still that little incling of hope that one day I will be ready, it will be ready to see print, until then i'll edit/re-edit and write until something resembling text in a booklike form comes out, until then see what you think of 'game, Set and Match' a play "what I wrote" and performed just off Broadway a few years ago, the play is in three acts, and can be performed as an entire piece or in its separate acts. Until I pick up the courage to write again, please enjoy...p.s. all comments welcome.

Encounter

I saw him briefly, my heart racing as he comes close.
We speak but others are around, I cannot say what I wish to say.
Why won't they go, five minutes is all we get.
Not enough time, so much I want to say.
I say I've got to go, another chance gone.
He smiles, 'talk soon' and turns away.
I sit at my desk, wondering when.

Listening

I am sitting in my office just listening, there's no one else about...complete silence. Silence is one the most wonderful and calming influences that I know, I crave contact with people but more and more I crave my space, my silence.

But it's not silent, the building is making its own noise, its own song, giving voice to its day.
There are faint rumbling and swooshing sounds as the central heating regulates against the cold, walls and ceilings creak, light fittings buzz with electricity, a clock ticks on the wall above me, I can hear rain cascading across the roof tiles and down the drainpipes. The computers router tat, tat tats and the kettle sighs as the switch clicks off.

There are voices, the drum of rubber on tarmac, distant sirens and the eiree squeal of brakes, these are not the noises of the building but the world beyond the windows and doors. Filtered sounds that I will soon have to confront again, assulting my senses as I make my way home.

For now I have my own space, my own silence, I feel safe and comfortable in this building that talks, that speaks to me of its day without intruding on my silence, its noises will continue after I've locked the door.

Wow, life can kick

OK, so there is a reason to suddenly start blogging, at least that's what I decided at the end of last week. Who is it for?

A very good friend has been blogging for quite some time and directed me to his blog, I dip in and out every couple of weeks to see what has been added, what can I comment on and should I?

So I have finally taken the plunge into the world of blogging, my own personal blog space where I can share my thoughts, feelings and maybe even bore you with some of my work. Scared...Oh yes! I have realised what I write can and will be criticised and judged ,I hope my ramblings won't be held against me, but who knows...do I care?

When I've written before my work has always been scrutinised, plays or articles edited beyond what I deemed necessary, professional documents slashed with that dreaded red Bic ink, resembling a post autopsy cadaver than a resource written with care. So can I leave myself open to others, of course I can, but am I ready? Do I care?...well yes I do care and I am ready!

But I'm rambling, so why suddenly start blogging?...the answer is easy, you see we all face our own mortality, some of us just earlier than others. Now I'm not about to suddenly shuffle off this very minute (although a cuppa wouldn't go amiss), but being faced with a long term, possibly life changing, pill popping existence because some dear old ancestor has buggered up genes kinda changes your outlook on life, especially when that same dear old ancestor has kindly passed those very same genes and chromosomes onto me. Now please don't send the lilies just yet, it ain't that bad, unless the number 46x gets me tomorrow whilst I'm crossing the street!

Like most people I want to leave something of myself behind, (and in my case that ain't gonna be any little tykes carrying on my buggered genes to yet another generation, unless they really can develop some way of making the male of the species pregnant...maybe best get my boyfriend snipped just in case!!) for purely selfish reason and no other, I want to leave a mark, a trail, something that defined who I was and that I was here in the first place.

So who is it for?

Its for me!